Heavy Heart

I haven't written anything in awhile but I just had so much on my heart all day. Today, at church, we heard the last message in a 4-part marriage series that has been really great, but also very challenging. Today's message on divorce and remarriage was probably the heaviest message I have ever heard from our Pastor and I could tell it was a hard one for him to deliver. As always I think the Lord spoke through him and he did well with this difficult topic that many other Pastors would probably shy away from. I myself have not been divorced but this message weighed on me for so many reasons. It dredged up past sins, bad memories, and guilt. It also weighed on me not just for my own reasons but it weighed on me for people I love too, for many various reasons. We will also be diving more deeply into this topic this Tuesday night in our House Group and quite honestly after today's message I really wanted to hit the fast forward button right to Wednesday and just be over this. I was emotionally exhausted all day, but what really caused me to want to write about this was the reminder God put on my heart. He reminded me of King David, a man after God's own heart. David was an amazing man who also committed a great sin, but God forgave David and still used him for His Glory. God used a prostitute, God used a woman who had been married 5 times, God used Paul who was previously a persecutor of Christians. If God can use these sinners in such incredible ways, surely He can use me. He reminded me that I am already forgiven and that the feelings of guilt come from the enemy and not from Him. He reminded me that His word is a gift to protect us and lead us along a path of redemption and righteousness, not to condemn us.

Jeremiah 29:11 says- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

God reminded me that He is for me and that He can take our brokenness and make it new. My story has woven through dark valleys on the way to the mountain top but I believe that God can use me and use my story, my life, to reach others. Sometimes it takes a voice of experience to really connect with someone in their pain and sometimes that connection can be exactly what brings someone to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ!! I pray that God uses me, and my trials to reach others to come to know Jesus. My life has never been the same since I invited Him into my heart and committed to following Him. I still screw up, we all do, we're human, but I know He loves me and He loves you, more than we even comprehend. I am so thankful for this truth!!!

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